Nothing's Shocking: The Continual Decline Of Eminem And Marilyn Manson

In the indie-saturated musical landscape of 2009, the only thing more anachronistic than an Eminem album is a Marilyn Manson album. I wish I was dwelling in the realm of the hypothetical here, but since both things have actually come to pass, I'd feel remiss in not registering my... well, it's not exactly disappointment. More like that feeling you get when you've expected something to suck badly enough for long enough that you're actually looking forward to seeing how spectacularly it fails. Let's face it: having something to complain about sure as hell beats having nothing to talk about. Hence, this blog post.

First off, we have Eminem's new album Relapse. I'd had a bad feeling about Eminem's music ever since he went into self-imposed depressed-rich-drug-addict exile. I'm sure the amount of shit he went through during that time could have given him a lot of material to work with (in addition to the drug addiction that spawned the album's title, there was the death of good friend and fellow rapper Proof), but Eminem's biggest strength was always his quick wit, so knowing he spent much of his time off in a depressed stupor wasn't exactly promising. In addition, Eminem's worst trait has always been his self-absorption, so again: depressed stupor = not promising.

When I heard the new single We Made You, my suspicions were more or less confirmed. It's essentially My Name Is... Part 3, the celebrity-baiting shtick now completely worn out by virtue of Eminem's own increasing cultural irrelevance. Maybe it's just my own aversion to pop culture, but I don't care what ANYONE has to say about Lindsay Lohan, much less someone whose only reason to spite her is because it's expected of him.

What I didn't expect, though, was the abundance of serial-rape-and-murder songs on the album. It's hard to tell if Eminem was trying to seriously get in the mind of a psychopath, vent his inner torment in the most unpleasant way possible, or simply go out of his way to offend people. It could very well be all three of these things, but ultimately, who cares? The best these pieces can provoke is a certain sick fascination, but that hardly counts as engaging the listener, even if Eminem still has a hell of a way with words.

The same can't be said of Marilyn Manson who, even at his best, often had the verbal dexterity of a drunk, vomiting Chuck Palanhiuk. On albums like the genuinely-really-good Mechanical Animals this wasn't a problem, as the cheesiness of it was what made it fun. Problem is, a) he wasn't kidding and b) he didn't actually stop.

So now, 9 years after doing anything that isn't a complete fucking embarrassment, we get The High End Of Low, an album with song titles like "Pretty As A Swastika" and "I Have To Look Up Just To See Hell". The lead-off single is called "Arma-goddamn-motherfucking-geddon". He says "abortion", "fuck" and "suicide" within the first 30 seconds. It makes even less sense in context. The first thing you hear him sing on the actual album is "I'll swallow a bowl of you like / a big bottle of big big pills". There's a song called "Unkillable Monster" and it's a fucking power ballad. He sounds bored. The band sounds bored. Hell, I'm fucking bored, except when I reflect on the fact that this album somehow got major label backing. It's at this point that I stop being bored and start being very, very angry.

FINAL VERDICT:

I'll give the Eminem album a 5 out of 10 for the way he occasionally salvages mediocre material with lyrical dexterity. I'll give the Marilyn Manson a 2 out of 10 because it's one of the worst pieces of shit I've ever heard in my life.